Love you and miss you

I remember the first time I felt real sadness. My grandpa died of lung cancer July 27th, 2007. two days before his 79th birthday. It was one of the saddest days of my life. I still remember holding onto my mom as she told me Grandpa was gone. Really gone...forever. We all knew he had only a little while. But you know, I think none of us wanted to really believe it. We almost wanted to believe it was a bad nightmare and we would soon wake up. To this day, none of us are the same. My Grandma acts like she is in a bubble. And when Grandpa comes up, she always makes us cry. She makes everything so sad about him.

But everything doesn't always have to be sad. I can still remember all the times, he yelled at my Grandma because she bought too many presents for us when we were frantically ripping open carefully wrapped presents on Christmas Eve at her house. He never liked Christmas, any holidays for that matter. But he made it complete. No family is perfect, we all have our little kinks. And that's what made Grandpa, well Grandpa.

My Grandpa was a huge part of my life and still is today. Grandma and him used to come up everyday and watch as when Mom went to work, even when we were only months old. Grandpa was always there and I always thought he would be there forever. And he still is. Even though he can't be physically by my side, he's looking down on my family and me.

But I can't help but think why him? My Grandpa was probably the best Grandpa you could ask for. He loved me no matter what flaws I had or have. And trust me, I have a very long list. He was my worst enemy but at the same time my best friend. He told me like it is, when I was doing something wrong or behaving wrong but he still loved me.

I really don't know why I am writing about my Grandpa. Ever since he passed away two years ago, I have never seemed to have anything to write about him. I had so many thoughts about him and how I missed him but I could never put them into actual words. I still can't.

Usually, I can brainstorm and write about anything in minutes. But with Grandpa, there's no need to explain him. He will always have a place in my heart. I know, no matter where life takes me, he'll always be watching over me. I know, he's in a better place. He's happy and he's well. I know, he would want me to be happy.

I love you Grandpa and miss you

--Just Another Girl