11.26.2010

Vote!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewlAwn5CqB0&feature=sub

Vote for the Crowley Brothers!!!!

xoxo Roxy

8.31.2009

I'm Done

I've been trying to write this post since an hour ago and I can't seem to find any words that might cover up what I am trying to say. I know this person will know who they are once they read this and I hope they know I am not lying...unlike her, I tell people the truth. I don't lie to their face even though I have evidence I didn't bother to cover up...so here it goes.

Worst way to ruin any kind of relationship you had with me, is to lie. And lie right to my face. I risked everything for you. I hope you realize that. I gave up friendships, I put you first and my heart later which has gotten broken so many times because of you. I'm tired of playing all of these stupid silly games. You're not my best friend, you never were. I saw the pictures, so you can't deny it and you can't lie to my face. I'm sick of acting like everything is alright because really inside my heart is breaking. And I hope you like the fact, it's breaking because you. You and your stupid lies. You have to be friends with everyone. Right? Even if that person did break my heart. Do you know what I felt when I saw those pictures? I know you will never understand because you don't think of other people. If you are alright then everything is fine. Yeah, you turned out ok but I'm broken into tiny pieces. I felt more than just betrayed, I felt stabbed in the back. I felt like I wanted to slap my self and cross my fingers that this is all a bad dream. But it wasn't. Everyone is afraid of you, because they are in your web. You use people. You are nobody's best friend. You just use people to get further but really you are only digging yourself deeper into the hole.

I won't be waiting to help you out of this hole that you recently started digging. I'm done. You were never my best friend and this proves it. You did this and you wanted to be friends with her. I guess you don't care about me or my heart? I guess our friendship is crap compared yours with her, right?

Bottom line, I'm done.

Love you and miss you

I remember the first time I felt real sadness. My grandpa died of lung cancer July 27th, 2007. two days before his 79th birthday. It was one of the saddest days of my life. I still remember holding onto my mom as she told me Grandpa was gone. Really gone...forever. We all knew he had only a little while. But you know, I think none of us wanted to really believe it. We almost wanted to believe it was a bad nightmare and we would soon wake up. To this day, none of us are the same. My Grandma acts like she is in a bubble. And when Grandpa comes up, she always makes us cry. She makes everything so sad about him.

But everything doesn't always have to be sad. I can still remember all the times, he yelled at my Grandma because she bought too many presents for us when we were frantically ripping open carefully wrapped presents on Christmas Eve at her house. He never liked Christmas, any holidays for that matter. But he made it complete. No family is perfect, we all have our little kinks. And that's what made Grandpa, well Grandpa.

My Grandpa was a huge part of my life and still is today. Grandma and him used to come up everyday and watch as when Mom went to work, even when we were only months old. Grandpa was always there and I always thought he would be there forever. And he still is. Even though he can't be physically by my side, he's looking down on my family and me.

But I can't help but think why him? My Grandpa was probably the best Grandpa you could ask for. He loved me no matter what flaws I had or have. And trust me, I have a very long list. He was my worst enemy but at the same time my best friend. He told me like it is, when I was doing something wrong or behaving wrong but he still loved me.

I really don't know why I am writing about my Grandpa. Ever since he passed away two years ago, I have never seemed to have anything to write about him. I had so many thoughts about him and how I missed him but I could never put them into actual words. I still can't.

Usually, I can brainstorm and write about anything in minutes. But with Grandpa, there's no need to explain him. He will always have a place in my heart. I know, no matter where life takes me, he'll always be watching over me. I know, he's in a better place. He's happy and he's well. I know, he would want me to be happy.

I love you Grandpa and miss you

--Just Another Girl

8.11.2009

Ignore your head and follow your heart

I let the last chord ring out in my bedroom as I sung the final notes of my original song. I smiled. It actually sounded good. Something that you would hear on the radio. Finally, we are getting somewhere, I thought.

Then my mind flashed to the email from my basketball coach saying we had a game tonight at 7:30. Or the horse back riding lesson tomorrow. And then I looked back down at my guitar. For the first time, I wanted nothing more than to want to sing and play my songs to let people hear them. I wanted to hear people clap and cheer for me when I was down.

I wanted to play music. I wanted it to be my whole life. And I can feel it that it is supposed to be like this. I am not going to become a famous basketball player or an all star at horse back riding. I can just picture myself on stage, at my own sold out concert in a few years.

Suddenly, I felt my mind say, No, that's never going to happen. Never, you will never become famous. I felt my heart drop to my toes as I set down my guitar. But then I felt a leap in my heart. My heart was saying Don't Give up.

I turned back around and picked up my guitar. I was done listening to my head, that little voice inside my head saying that I was never going to achieve my dreams. Well guess what as I'm playing my guitar, I'm ignoring my head and following my heart.


xoxo Just Another Girl

6.21.2009

I'm sorry...

So, I know I haven't posted in what seems to be forever and I'm sorry but I have MAJOR writer's block. I've been trying to write through, but it doesn't look like I am using my writing mind anytime soon. I can write songs, the lyrics, in a matter of minutes. I had to use one of my old songs and put a guitar to it. That's how I know this writer's block is bad. The thing is I have NO inspiration which a writer needs. My life is boring. There I said it. I need ideas, other than summer because summer, for me, is not going to be exciting. And I feel bored and lonely without being able to write even a few sentences that I like. So, pretty please with sugar on top, leave a comment to this post with an idea. Anything! Email me at: Thelucygoose@aol.com Or visit me on youtube: www.youtube.com/xxcrazyforlyricsxx

Thank you!
xoxo Just Another Girl
P.S. I am now on Twitter :)
Follow me: http://twitter.com/Thelucygoose

3.16.2009

For the first time

My whole life, a boy has never liked me back. Sure, boys have had crushes on me but never that one boy that I am obsessed with. The boys who I liked always made fun of me calling me names and spreading rumors about me but the funny thing is I still liked them. I have no idea why. My heart is not normal.

When I entered 6th grade, I wasn't planning on liking anybody. My biggest fear was no being able to open my locker and my biggest challenge was to find my classes. That all changed when I saw a certain boy on my bus. Sure, he was an 8th grader and me being a 6th grader but I could pass for a 7th grader at least maybe even an 8th grader. 

He had adorable blond curly hair and he had a cute smile. He was funny and had an amazing laugh. Not to mention, he was cute :) I found out he only lived a block away from me.

Well one day since my sister plays clarinet in one of the bands (she is amazing at it), she wasn't on the bus, so the seat in front of me where she usually sat was open. My crush, let's name him........Mike, Mike got in trouble by opening one of the windows without asking permission and got moved in the front.....where I was...where my sister sat...inches away from me.

This annoying girl who knows him, she's in my grade, asked him for help with her math homework. I kind of zoned out because it was just so annoying to watch. Well, after a minute or two just watching the houses pass by and the sound of the bus's wheels hop along the roads, he turned around. To talk to me. ME!! A 6th grader. 

He asked, "Don't you have a sister?"
While I was freaking out I managed to spit out, "Yeah."
"Are you twins?"
"No, duh!"
He laughed and replied, "where is she?"
"Colt band, she plays the clarinet."
"Oh cool."

That was our first conversation but not the last. During the course of the year, since he got in trouble mostly every day. We talked. I find out he actually knows where I live. He made fun of the annoying girl and I wanted to hug him. I always found out where he lives, call me creepy, but us girls need to know these things. 

I play basketball and since 6th graders can't try out for school teams, starting in 4th grade and ending in 8th, you can play on a travel team. Representing your town and your grade. Well, we had practice and it was 10 minutes left. And we were scrimmaging. And there he walked in. My twin sister also plays and walked by her and bumped her. She looked over and her jaw dropped. Can you be anymore obvious. No words were exchanged as our team practice ended and he just sat there with...a girl :( 

Well, imagine my surprise when the next day, when I was going onto the bus, I sat down and put my backpack on the floor next to me and put on my seatbelt and Mike walks in. I was getting used to that though because he is on my bus. 

"Saw you at basketball practice yesterday."
"Yeah," I replied with a small smile.

HE DID SEE ME!! I had to restrain myself from jumping up and down in my seat.  

Well, when spring came, March, he stopped coming onto the bus. I thought this was weird because, by then I knew where he was at what time (to just 'bump' into him ha) and he was in school because I see him almost everyday. I soon found out he made the baseball team. And I was said.

By that time, I was was making my mom drive me down he block just to see his house. One day, I was begging her but she said no and when we passed his blocked, he was playing on the street with his friend. My sister and I both screamed and said it's mike!

My mom turned around and drove down his block to where he was. And she rolled down her window. I didn't stick around though, my sister in the front seat couldn't hide. But I did, I dove into the back. 

"Did you see a dog runnning around here?" my mom asked.
"Um, no," Mike replied.
"She's a boxer and she is brown and black."
"No, I never saw a dog run down or pass the block."
"Well, if you see if her can you please take her back to our house. We live on blah blah's-" He caught her off.
"Yeah, I know where you live."
"Okay, well thanks."

HE KNEW WHERE I LIVED.

So, fast forward to June. My sister wanted a new hair cut. She decided to get bangs. Not side bangs, just regular bands that rest on your forehead. Let me explain something to you, my sister and I have always had long blond hair. And we never have cut if more than 2 inches for a daily trim. So, getting bangs, I was like no way. But when my sister got them, I was like why not?

I loved them, they shaped my face perfectly and all I could think about is will he notice?

The next day at school, everybody made fun of me. I am not bragging, but I am pretty. They were jealous and it was annoying. Calling my ugly, look at her name hair cuit!, look how dumb she looks! By the end of the day, I was done. But we were in the media center (library) in Language Arts class, typing our essays up. My sister and I were at the end of the row of computers, by the entrance.

I only noticed he walked in when I heard the door slam. He asked my teacher if he could use a computer but he got caught for chewing gum. So, he used a computer. I went to the bathroom because I thought I was going to stop breathing by that point. 

After I came back and all of my friends were done typing we sat down at one of the tables, right behind him. WAIT! Ok, my library is set up when you walk in there is a circular table with four computers. Then there is pull down screen and computer in the center surrounded by tables for students to sit at. Well he was the computer surrounded by the tables and we were sitting at the table right behind him.

Our teacher, even though she favored us, made us split apart for being too loud. So, it was only my sister and I. We were reading this annoiyng book called, "Roll of thunder hear my cry." He was a swivel chair and swung around and asked, "What book are you reading?"
I replied, "Roll of cry, hear my thunder, i don't really know."
He smiled. "That is my favorite book." Note sarcasm. 
I nodded and went back to my work.

You know that feeling when somebody is staring at you and it freaks you out. By then my sister and I were concetrating on our work. I looked up and he was staring at me. But he was doing a funny motion. He continued to stare at me even when I caught him, so I am like Carr (caroline, nick name for my sisterm). And when she looked up he swiveled back around and pretended to be typing. I laughed and said never mind. He kept doing that and me calling my sister and saying never mind until the end of the period, it was last period. We didn't say goodbye, it was weird. 

Well, it was the last day of school for the 8th graders and graduation was that night. And I wanted to say goodbye to him when he walked off the bus but I couldn't what would I say?

I spent the whole summer thinking about him. Not once ever seeing him. I was in pain. But I never forgot him and never liked anyone else. Call me crazy but I liked him. 

Fast forward to October. I recently split up from my best friend and was in no mood for Halloween. Well, it was like 2 weeks before Halloween and my sister and her friend, Jackie, wanted to go to great adventure for october fest. It was a saturday and it was packed. It was a sold out day. When we were walking out at 12:00 midnight, we were so tired. And ever so quickly I caught a glimpse of the side of a face I knew too well. And there Mike was in skin and flesh. Fate?

He noticed me but didn't say anything. I observed he had grown, he was about my height, (5'8") I told you I was not your normal 6th grader, now he was about a good 4 inches taller than me. I thought about him all the way the home and until I closed my eyes. I don't have dreams a lot so I didn't have dream about him ha.

Well Halloween, I made the mistake of wearing a costume that everybody made fun of me in. I don't even want to describe it. It was the most horrible experience ever. So far 7th grade was going terrible for me. When I came home, I cried and my mom hugged me and she said come on we are going trick or treating. I was in no mood at all to get candy. No, I hate Halloween and to this day I hate it. All because of my stupid ex- friend and jealousy. But I was forced and they forced me to go trick or treating at Mike's house. His dad answered and said he dropped mike off about ten minutes ago. He was nice.

We went to the grande (which is an area in my town where people live, tiny houses) and I saw my ex friend, she was following us and I was having the worst time until I saw...Mike. And again we never talked. But it was a perfect thing to brighten up my day. Then after we were trick or treated out, my friend Jackie made me go back to his house to try and catch him. His dad answered again and was like your back! And we asked if Mike was there. And this time his mom was there too. They said they were going to pick him up in a few minutes. Then we started just talking. They asked us what high school we are going to, I am going to Colts Neck, we live in that town s naturally I want to go there. We left and Halloween was a little better.

Fast forward to March, well I haven't seen him in since Halloween. So, I was looking on our town's rec basketball because I didn't do it this year and didn't know if it was over. Well, I saw a link to the HIGH SCHOOL rec teams. I was curious to see who on them and looked through the pictures. And there was Mike. :) I knew other people who were on the team and said I could go to act like I am there for them but I would really be there for him. Well the game was on March 5th. 

Well, at the game, we had to wait an hour for his team because was the 2nd game. But when he did, he played amazing. He's a really god rebounder. Even though nobody would pass him the ball. :( On my travel team nobody passed the ball to me either. His team lost.

But this still left without an answered question: What high school did he got to?

Well, of course me being the crazy person I really am, I looked his name up on Face book, and his name popped up, and I knew it because it said the school name which is located a town over, a catholic school, and it said year 12. :( I was hoping that we were going to the same high school. I asked my mom if I could go there but she said if its because of a silly boy, then no.

So.....................Please, crossing my fingers and wishing at 11:11 tonight, that this will all work out. 


2.17.2009

Love Is...

The bell rang, announcing that 4th period was over and lunch was in a few a minutes. I ran to my locker but did my combination at least 5 times. I could never do it on the first try because that's how evil my lock is to me. I finally opened it after several minutes of trying and a piece of folded up crumbled line paper floated to the ground. 
I let my books drop to the ground not caring if it scares my locker neighbor. I carefully unfolded it and smoothed it out, it was hard to see the smeared pen. With doodles and drawings on the side. It said:
Ella,
Just wanted you to know I am thinking about during class :) 
-Ryan

I smiled and delicatley put the note into my binder, hoping that it wouldn't fall out and never see it again. Those little things count the most.
I felt myself falling more and more. And usually, I would have broken up with a boy like Ryan by now for the fear of getting hurt but the thing about love is, if you do it right you never hit the ground. And I don't plan on the hitting the ground. Well...if it doesn't hurt too much. Because I am happy.
Wow....I am becoming one of those brainwashed girlfriends right? Ha, maybe. But love is just that. Sure, Ryan could break up with me right now and break my heart. Or he could say he loves and make me fall in love all over again. 
I am a perfect example. Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you but trusting them not to.

--Just Another Girl
I got the idea from a cute quote I was reading lol random

2.04.2009

Tangled up

I look at the necklace all tangled up
Just like our friendship, which the world has forgot
I tried to untangle but soon give up
Because soon I will forget about it
Like of the memories that I doubt
We would remember
Back when we were young and free
When school started in September
All we can look back on
Is that necklace
All Tangled up

--Just Another Girl

2.01.2009

Secret Valentine

I picture the scene in a movie. A movie that I would replay over and over again. Knowing every word by heart.
Of you opening your mailbox and finding a card there. Red with hearts on it. You open it up and it says "Happy Valentine's Day from your Secret Admirer".
To this day I don't know if you think I gave it to you. Were you excited? Do you still have it? Or did you throw it away?
I know I will always remember the year, I stuck a secret valentine into your mailbox because I knew you would never feel the same way about me. And I just had to get a valentine for you.
You were forever and always my first secret valentine

--Just Another Girl
Wanted to do something special for Valentine's day coming up. And last year I DID give someone a secret valentine. And maybe this year I will again too bad he is in a different school, I haven't seen him since Halloween :( Hint hint, I hope that somebody isn't reading this. Who am I kidding, nobody reads my blog :)

1.30.2009

I don't care

You can scream and yell at me. Whisper in the halls as I walk past. Spread rumors like wild fire across the school. Ignore me for a day.
See my face? I don't care.
For once, I don't care about you. I don't care about your feelings because obviously you have never cared about mine. I don't care if you break down and cry or feel like your world shatters. Because you've made my world shatter so many times it's time you feel what it's like.
Go on and be a bi-polar jerk. See if I care, I don't care if what you think about. So, you hang with the popular group now? And? What is so great about that? Thousands of fake friends and boys who just want to use you?
I'm walking away and saying goodbye. And don't bother calling because I won't pick up the phone. Don't bother trying to talk to me in chorus because I won't listen. I'll turn and walk away.
Because for the final time, can you just understand, I don't care. Simple as that. Not about you or what you think. I Don't Care.

--Just Another Girl

1.29.2009

Flying

As the wind rushes through my hair
Tears form in my eyes
Softly running down my pale face
My mouth slowly turning into a smile
As I softly kicked with my heels to go faster
We picked up speed
As green grass seemed like a flash by us
The sky a dash of blue on a painting
Seeming like the world had stopped
But we were still going
Leaving marks in the soft and moist dirt on the trail
We finally came to the end of the trail
And stopped
Breathing heavy, I patted Hazen's neck
Sweat was drizzling down his black and white neck
But he needed this
We needed this
To just get away
To...
Fly

--Just Another Girl
PS I know I have been creating a lot of short stories like this but I am on writer's block and since nobody actually reads my blogs, it doesn't really matter :) Except Jackie and Carrie. I am writing a short story for school, so once it's done I'll post it there. Oh by the way, I am looking for an actual writing website because this is a blog and most people come here for blogging. So......IF you have any other web sites suggestions please message me or leave a comment :) Thanks and happy almost friday!
OH and for people I know, my tooth pick bridge held 50 pounds. Most of you won't get it and it's too hard to explain.

1.28.2009

In your dreams

His voice replayed and replayed in my head. His voice so soft, down to a quiet whisper. Going through my mind like rapid wind. Saying all the things he promised yet failed to do. Pretending like he never knew what he said and what he lied about. Pretending to care about my heart when all he really planned to do was play with it and break it. Walking away from all the little pieces. I tried to not fall for him but I did, hard. He promised to catch me when I fell into his arms, he let me fall.
"We should just be friends, I think it's best," He whispered not looking at me.
"Whatever happened to forever?" I asked tears rolling down my cheeks.
in my mind I could still hear him whisper, gently tickling my ear with his breath, "I love you...forever."
"It was just a fling."
It was so much more than that.
"Listen I'm sorry but we both knew that it was going nowhere."
It was going everywhere and anywhere we wanted it to go. You just decided to stop it.
"I love you..."
Then why are you doing this? Why are you leaving me? Why are you saying goodbye?
"But I'm not IN love with you anymore."
Is there a difference?
"I hope we can still talk. I love you, Emma, forever and always."
In you dreams.

--Just Another Girl

1.27.2009

In the end it won't matter

As we graduate high school, standing tall and proud. In cap and gown. Anxiously waiting for our names to be called so we can finish high school and create our future. Explore new areas and follow our dreams and hearts.
We stand there as a class, graduating together going off to different colleges. Most of your class mates you will probably never hear of or see again. When we all find our dream jobs, we will forget who tripped at homecoming.
Or who liked who. Who dumped who over text message, who was captain of the cheerleader squad. Who dated the big football player or who held the best parties. Who was worst dressed or best dressed. Who was the outsider, loner. Or who was center of attention and queen bee. Who were the players and jerks. This list could go on and on. But it doesn't have to.
Because in the end...it all won't matter.

--Just Another Girl


1.17.2009

Who is that girl?

I am just experimenting with different types of writing. I tried to rhyme in here but I suck at rhyming, I just wrote whatever. This is not based on anything or anyone, including myself. I just felt like writing and I am in one of those moods when I have to get something out of my system but don't know what to write. So, I just let it flow. I'm not upset or anything just want to write something. So here it is:)
I stare back at that girl in the mirror
Wondering how I got like this and why
I put on my fake smile
And wonder how I can even believe all the lies
And It will probably be a while before anybody finds out the truth
The truth, that's what I want to to hear again
In my world, everything was honest back then
When I used to be who I wanted to be
Who I knew, and who I was
But I am not that girl that I see
No, I am not
I am a girl who tied herself up in a knot
Protecting anything and everything inside
Pushing everything behind the shadows, trying to hide
Behind her beautiful smile and fake crystal eyes
Nobody knew how hard she tried
And how hard she fell
Nobody knew how hard she tried to to yell
And how hard it was to accept that she would never be the best
Always be at the bottom, never the top
Nobody would know her story that she wished she could tell
Nobody would answer that one question that was running through her head
As she touched the cold hard mirror in front of her
Running her hands over her reflection
Her nose, her eyes, her hair, her smile
The girl she wanted to be on in the inside
Who she was on the outside
Who she was the total opposite on the inside
Nobody would answer her when asked
Who's that girl?
--JustAnotherGirl

1.11.2009

All Grown Up

Ever since my 'best' friend dumped me for 'cooler' friends, my whole life was thrown upside down.
People who never had a problem with me before hate me now, People who I used to casually hang out with stopped answering their phone and texts and emails.
My heart was broken into a million pieces, a feeling I will never forget or want to feel again. Betrayed. Used. Fake.
But somehow I managed to put the pieces back together like a puzzle, until I could see the full picture again.
Despite the pain and nights of crying myself to sleep I suffered, I think it was for the best. Now I know who my real friends are. And who aren't. Never really were.
When she tried to talk to me again I thought maybe all of those months of fitting the puzzle back together would shatter. But it didn't. I didn't feel sad. No heartache. No need. No want. No jealousy.
But I have to admit. I do miss the idea of having a friend. Someone who you can call late at night. Tell all your darkest secrets to and not be judged. Have a shoulder to cry on.
That's what I miss. Not her. Not what she put me through. Her mood swings and excuses. Her weird clothing and language. Changing into a person I couldn't even call my friend.
I miss when we were younger and if we played jump rope or hide and seek on the playground, we were instantly best friends. But I guess as you grow up you have to learn.
Learn who to trust. And who not to trust. How to mend a broken heart back together. A let go of the past. It's all a part of growing up.

--JustAnotherGirl
P.S. For school we are realistic fiction stories. And our teacher is making us write about real problems (realistic duh) that we have or had. And then we are going to make it into fiction. So, I am going to post it when we were finished with it. And i hope you liked this. It was for homework so I decided what the heck, I'm posting it :)

1.09.2009

Three Words, Eight Letters

He told me I was the only one for him. He secretly looked at me when I got onto the bus. Wanted to hold me and tell me I love you. Wanted to be mine forever. Wanted to hold hands and never let go. Sit under the stars in his backyard. Dream about tomorrow. Wish for today. Forget yesterday.
As I looked into his blue eyes I told him I felt the same. I gave him that valentine last year. I was jealous of your girlfriend and wanted to shoot darts at her. Wanted to be in your arms. For you to forever hold me. Silently wish you would say those three words and eight letters to me someday. Grab my hand and never let go. Fall asleep in your arms under the stars.
As the moon went down and the sun came up, everything was perfect. He was perfect. This was perfect. I smiled. And then a beeping noise filled the air.
I looked around and saw nothing. But he still had that careless smile on his face and his voice started to fade as he whispered, "Roxy."
"Roxy! Time to get up! 30 minutes to get ready!" I heard from downstairs.
He disappeared and I was thrown back into Reality. Reality that I wish was a dream. And my dream could be reality. But of course, today I had to go to yet another day of school. And the guy I like doesn't even notice me. Doesn't even know my name. Will never say my name with the type of emotion and I wish and dream of every night. And it all starts when I close my eyes. As reality drifts away in the blue ocean and dreams will replace reality.
He will never say and do a lot of things for me. But what really breaks my heart. He will say it to his girlfriend but never me. Never those three words and eight letters to me.

--JustAnotherGirl
P.S. This was about last year crush. I still like him but he went to a different school :( Oh and since your done reading it. If you're wondering what the word is. It's: I Love You

1.05.2009

Hello and Goodbye

Just a few weeks ago my life was normal. Same as it always been, since I could remember. Overflowed with laughs and hugs. Colors that light up in the darkest moments. Now the colors turned to gray. The laughs turned to tears and the hugs turned to sobs. I lost one thing that kept me together. The one person who I thought I could depend on and trust more than anybody else. I lost my best friend, my best friend who betrayed me for the final time.
I knew I lost my best friend. Knew that I buried it underground never to be dug up again. Always to remember all those times we had and to remember why they had to end. This past week, all I did was break old habits. Not saving a seat at the lunch table for her or saying "hi" to her as she walked out of the classroom. Stop by her locker to ask for a pencil because I merely left mine another class. I felt strange and tired by the time the bell rang, announcing school was over. I felt destroyed, destroyed by the one person who I thought I could trust and lean on when I was about to fall. All of a sudden she left and disappeared with the light as it turned to darkness. As the sunlight became shadows, she didn't even try to catch me, she just watched me fall. Fall into the darkness without a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on. She just walked away and laughed. Never looking to see if I was alright. It was like it was building up and just needed one little push to burst and she pushed me over the edge. Soon, the sadness that snuck into millions of heartbroken cracks in my heart soon got swept away by the anger burning like wildfire.
I felt like I was in a nightmare, a dream I couldn't wake up from. Memories that were playing over and over again, like a movie that would never stop. Flashing in and out, just like blinking lights, that will soon go away. Blinking lights that will soon burn out and be replaced. A friendship that will only be old photographs and a dim memory that will soon be packed away in a closet. Just like candles on a birthday cake, just before a smiling kid with closed eyes is about to make a wish, not even a second later, the candle flame is gone. The memories of us, were all over. Like the brook in the back where we had our mud fight on the humid August afternoon or the pillars where we used to sit for endless hours waiting for somebody, anybody, to save us from the summer heat. We were always two halves of one whole
I wanted everything that reminded me of her gone. Burned or ripped up, made to blend in with the past. I sprinted up the stars, taking two steps at a time, to my room. Everything was scattered across the walls like a timeline of my life. The silly drawings we made in second grade, the notes we passed during health class, or the Nick Jonas guitar pick from the concert we went too. I realized I couldn't take all of this down and erase it from my life. When it's what made me, what I am today. What made me choose which path to take and which choices to make. This will always and forever be a big part of my life.
All of the memories swirl through my head. But one memory sticks out the best. One of the last nights of the summer, with the cool August breeze. The August breeze ruffled the leaves on the trees ever so slightly and sent little chills up and down my spine. All was silent except for the sound of my bare feet hitting the hard cold ground as I jumped over the fence. Hazen, my horse, looked up from the hay pile he was sharing with our other horses and the moonshine reflected into his eyes. Making it seem like a dark blue river that you could dive into and just keep on going. I softly pulled the bridle onto Hazen's soft black and white face, Taylor legged me up and that was when everything changed.
It doesn't matter if we are 14 or 44, I will always remember the mud fight in the stream on that hot sticky July day. Or the loud screaming arena full of crazed Jonas Brothers' fans as the Jonas Brothers played their hit song "Burning Up". Or the cold ocean water at Spring Lake swimming with Jackie and Caroline. The freezing movie theater watching Dark Knight with her father, trying to ask the teenage boys in front of us what is going on. These are the moments that forever changed our lives. I will never regret saying goodbye to her, but I will never say hello to our friendship again. Everything happens for a reason and soon the reason will be uncovered. But for right now, I have to deal with the ghost of our friendship following me around and whispering in my ear. A ghost stuck in the past and is banging on the door. But I will just walk away. I never thought I had something in common with Taylor but I do. Because I walked away and never looked back to see if she was alright. Like she did when fell. I'm not going to be there anymore to save from falling and slipping into the darkness.
-JustAnotherGirl.
P.S. This was my first narrative of the school year and I got 100 on it. Personally, this was best the piece I have written. 
Thanks :3

My One and Only Lucy (Thought shot/Snap shot)

My dad and I were almost at the door to the tiny one floor house. What would I name the dog? I asked myself silently. I didn't know if the puppy was a boy or girl, so I had a pretty long name list. I wonder what the boxer puppy looked like.
My dad rang the doorbell and my heartbeat was so loud in my ears, I couldn't hear anything else. A middle aged man answered the door wearing a Boxer dog sweatshirt and jeans. His wife came into the living room holding a little bundle of brown, black, and blond. I soon realized, it was brindle girl boxer. At that moment, when the puppy looked up at me, I saw the deep brown eyes, her little mouth that had a hint of a smile on it and the face. The face that looked like it belonged to a dog longing to have a person she could and who could love her back. And that's when the name hit me. Like a strong wind that could bring down a house. Leaving only something to hold onto, to remember from that day, a name.
"What are you going to name her?" the lady that gave me the puppy to hold asked.
"Lucy," I answered stroking Lucy's soft and smooth little head, just between her little ears.
"Lucy?" She asked again. I guess she was hard on hearing. She did look a little older than 50.
"Yeah...Lucy sounds good."
So, that was the beginning of a bond that wasn't just a bond between a girl and a dog. It was a bond that long after we both leave, leaving the world behind, will always be waiting for us to come back, together.
It was the beginning of all sorts of things. Dog parties, thinking you're going crazy when you find yourself talking to Lucy about everything, but when I talk Lucy always listens. I know that she will always listen to me and be there for me. She's not just a dog, she's my best friend.
I shook my head and woke up from my day dream. I looked around and realized I was in my garage, with my hand on Lucy's rising and falling stomach. She was sound asleep. I bent my head down and so quietly I whispered, inches from her, "I love you."

--JustAnotherGirl
P.S. I also did this for a school writing piece, I also got a 100% :3

1.04.2009

Holly

Why couldn't the cold winds stop? I don't get it. This was not supposed to be happening. Not now, when the winter was only around the corner and the first snowfall had just come. Why couldn't Holly wait? Why did she have to be born today? On one of the coldest November days? Why today? Why Holly?
I opened the familiar brown barn doors and I was greeted with the warm scent of horses and hay. Despite, the horses' hooves pounding on the cold hallow ground, the dogs barking and cats meowing, it was quiet. Too quiet.
I peeked my head around the corner to steal a look at the new baby. I was greeted with the one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. Those big brown eyes. Long point ears. Her perfect nose and mouth. The beautiful fur a deep chocolate shade of brown and the long reindeer like legs. Every baby is cute but this baby was a sight to see. One of the cutest baby alpacas I have ever seen.
"Is it a boy or girl?" I asked weakly.
"A girl," my dad replied not looking up from the baby.
My dad was rubbing the baby's neck, back and legs to get the blood going in her body. I sat there, not knowing what to do. I felt like I had no voice. Everything was so confusing. My mind was fuzzy as I looked on at the baby and our mother alpaca, Contessa. I felt useless. I didn't know what to do. So, I watched silently as my dad tried to help the newborn baby.
"Em, time to go to school," my mom said from the entrance of the barn. I heard the hum of her car outside the barn. But soon the hum of the car was lost in the voices, wind, and everything else.
I groaned and answered, "Coming!" getting up from my spot in the stall, silently saying goodbye to the baby maybe for the first time or last time.
I tore my eyes away from the baby and got up from the place I was sitting in the stall. As I was about to turn the corner to the entrance, I stole one more glance and silently pleaded that this baby survives. 
The day went by slowly. Like I was stuck in slow motion mode. Every class seemed 30 minutes longer. Everybody seemed to say 20 more words than they needed to say. And the cars seemed to drive 40 miles slower than usual.
As I sat there that night, looking at the baby and Contessa sitting down in the stall. I wondered what her would be. It had to be something that you can't get out of your head like a catchy song. A beautiful picture you can't stop looking at. A book you can't put down. Some beautiful yet unique.  Something that would make you stop in your tracks and stare. That would make your jaw drop all the way to the ground. Hope, love and life all wrapped in one.
A name came to mind and ever so silently I whispered, "Holly." She looked up at me with big brown eyes as if seeing me for the first time.
Holly. Holly was her name. With her beautiful chocolate brown coat. Her unforgettable deep brown eyes. And the way she seemed to think everyday was a new adventure. The playful glint that crossed her eyes when she was met with the cold winds on the freezing November day. Her little legs and the way she tries to jump but fails. Then brushes herself off and tries again and hopes to make it. It seems the name Holly was made for her. Because I don't care how many people or animals named Holly, she will always be my Holly.
Now, I can answer all of my questions I had on that cold November morning. Now, I know why Holly was born on that day. It's because she showed us something nobody could have showed us. She showed you have to hold on even when you're about to let go. Brush yourself off, and get back up when you fall down. Holly really is hope, love, and life. She's my hope, life, and love. She's Holly. Our Holly.

--JustAnotherGirl
P.S. This was one of my personal narratives for school and I got a 100% on it. Hope you enjoyed :)

Front Row (A fan made story about Jonas Brothers)

It was finally the night. The night I have been waiting for since April 6th. The feeling that will finally be unleashed since I held the tickets in my hands. Finally, the the night is here that my dreams will become reality. Finally, I am going to a Jonas Brothers concert.
I put on my gray bulkhead gray skinny jeans, black converse, a blue tank top and a gray vest. As I raced into my bathroom, I quickly grabbed some Strawberry lip gloss and brushed it lightly over my lips. I glanced in the mirror and froze, is that me? I look so different. No like the Roxy I remember.
"Rox! Come on we have to pack up the posters and stuff and it's at least a 20 minute ride. With the traffic and all maybe half an hour!" My mom yelled from the kitchen.
"Coming!" I replied running out of my room, quickly turning off the light before the door closed.
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"Ready?" My brother, Joe, said as the start time of the show was minutes away.
"Of course," I replied and I could already hear the crowd of girls screaming. But I was not okay, something was going to happen at this show and I hope I like it.
Nick, five minutes, let's get ready," Kevin, my older brother, told me.
"Coming!" I replied racing out of my dressing room, turning off the lights just before the door closed.
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The noise in the arena was overwhelming, but I wouldn't be any place else. I thought as I sat in my front row seat. My friends Jackie and Caroline were dancing to the songs they were playing as the show time was approaching.
"Five minutes until the show! Get ready!" Jackie shouted as jumped around lifting his arms up in the air.
I pulled out my iphone 3g and the screen flashed 7:55. "Who said I wasn't ready?" I exclaimed putting my iphone in my back pocket and got up and started dancing. Trying to overcome a weird feeling that was creeping up on me.
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I took my place on the right of Joe on the platform that will rise up and take us to the front of the stage. I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants and pushed some of my curly hair out of my eyes. Trying to overcome the weird feeling. 
Our song, That's just the way we roll, we started playing. The platform started moving and soon we saw what we waited for every day. A sold out arena full of fans and all you can see is flashing lights of cameras. Each girl capturing the same moment.
The platform landed and I took my spot on the left stage, to the fans point of view, or right of Joe, and strummed my guitar. I started singing the chorus and looked out into the crowd.
I was scanning faces, like I do in every concert, seeing what the fans look like. Usually, they all look the same. Just different hair and different stories. But all here for the same reason. I stopped scanning because I saw electric blue eyes out of the corner of my eye. I loked at the girl and that weird feeling became stronger.
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I was jumping up and down with my friends. Signing along to Nick Jonas as he sung the chorus. That's when our eyes met. 
I stopped jumping and screaming. My heart seemed to be beating so fast. The world seemed to stop. Time seemed to slow down. And the weird feeling became stronger. I shook my head and tore my eyes away from him. The feeling went away.
I started jumping again and singing along. But I didn't look at Nick Jonas again. That feeling scared me. Scared me because I liked it so much.
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We went backstage for a moment to change wardrobe for our next song Burnin' Up. I picked up my towel and wiped my face with it.
"Did you see that girl in the front row? Prettiest eyes I have ever seen," Joe stated.
"Yeah, she does," I smiled remembering her face, eyes and hair. She was different in so many ways. And the feeling came back. 
"And the rest of her isn't bad at all," Joe said with a wink.
"Kevin chuckled and replied with a smile, "Have to agree with that."
It was time to go back on but I didn't want to look at that girl again. The feeling was too overwhelming, making me scared. And I think I feel scared is because...I like it.
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"OH MY GOD! That's their tour bus!" Jackie exclaimed. WE stayed after the concert and went outside to see their tour bus.
"Wow, let's go," I said. It's not like we were actually going to see them.
"Why do you want to go? We all know Nick Jonas was eyeing you the whole night!" Caroline exclaimed.
"Yeah right, come on we might get in trouble, you guys!" I told them.
"Oh, let's just ask if we can seem them," Jackie replied as she saw a sectruity guard walk past us.
"Um exscuse me?" Jackie called.
He turned around and walked over to us, "Girls, I'm sorry but you're not allowed to be back here."
"Oh, please. We really wanted their signatures. Just a really quick thing. 1 minute tops!" Jackie pleaded.
"Can I see your tickets please?" He asked with a sigh. He must go through the same thing at least 10 times at every show.
"Here, Carrie, Rox, give me yours," we handed our tickets to Jackie.
After he checked them over he said, "Follow me."
We all squealed with delight. We are going to meet the Jonas Brothers.
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There was a knock at our dressing room door.
"Come in!" Joe shouted.
"Big Rob poked his head in. "Do you guys want to see some fans?"
"Sure, we'll com out there," Kevin offered.
"Okay, and don't worry they are just three girls. Don't seem to be too obsessed," He said with a wink closing the door.
"Let's go," I laughed as I rolled my eyes following Kevin and Joe out of our dressing room door.
We made our way through backstage. Until we came to the exit where we go to our tour bus. And that is where we saw Big Rob talking to three girls. One girl had pretty straight dirty blond hair, short. Another girl had beautiful long bouncy blond hair, tall. The last girl had shiny pretty dark brown curly hair and was tall also. But the one I was really watching was the blond girl. That feelings came over me again. But she didn't have those eyes...
"Oh, here they are!" Big Rob exclaimed turning around at the sound of our arrival.
They all turned around. I didn't care about the other girls. Because the blond girl had those electric blue eyes, that I was afraid to look at since a few minutes into the show. That feeling made me stop dead in my tracks. And it seemed to make her too.
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"I'm Jackie, this is my friends Caroline and Roxy," Jackie told them.
"Well, you know who we are," Kevin smiled. "Did you guys like the show?"
"It was great, front row was the best, you guys sounded great," Caroline commented.
"Thanks, we try!" Joe exclaimed.
I remained silent until I heard Nick clear his throat and ask, no one in particular, "So, where are you guys from?"
"Momuth Country," I answered quickly.
"Cool," Nick said trying to meet my eyes but I kept my eyes trained on my black converse and the bottom of my jeans.
"We just wanted to meet you guys because we recently just started a band and after tonight, I think we can all say, we really want to be a band," Jackie told them.
"Oh, cool. What do you guys do in your band?" Kevin asked interested.
"Roxy sings and plays lead guitar, she can play a little piano and she rocks at the drums," Jackie said smiling at me. I caught her smile and smiled back. "I play piano and back up sometimes, gets solos, depends. Caroline plays bass, guitar, and sings."
"Wow, Roxy, you do the almost exact same thing as Nick," Joe commented.
"How about that?" I said smiling.
"So, how did you guys exactly get back here?" Nick asked smiling but he seemed to be saving that smile only for me.
"We have our ways," I replied smirking.
"We bet you do," Joe chuckled.
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So, that was the day I met the girl with electric blue eyes and golden blond hair. Who came to my concert and seemed to be special. We are still friends. We keep in touch. 
But touring gets a little crazy, so we talk as much as we can. Even though, she's busy with her life and can only afford long phone calls and quick visits, every time I take my place on stage I look for those electric blue eyes in the front row. But always can't find them because they only belong to Roxy. Who sat in the front row.

--JustAnotherGirl

Champ

As I grew up, from just 3 months old a set of paw prints were always right next to me. Guiding me throughout the toddler stages and being my partner in crime. Letting me poke, hug, and roll on. His name was Champ. Some people might have looked at him just as a dog but to me he was my best friend. A best friend that didn't care what your hair looked like, or what the tags say on your clothes, how big your house or how much you have. All he cared about was that I loved him and he would always love me back. That I would come to him first to tell him a share of secrets that only my heart knew, or would cry on his soft blond fur when I needed to, and I could whisper into his ear even when he was asleep because he would always be listening. He was more than a best friend, he was an angel without wings.
It was a cold October day, I was watching my brother throw the baseball back and forth. Hitting and retrieving it. I was only five sitting with Champ playing with colorful leaves which, at the time, I thought were the most coolest thing ever. We lived by the woods and our town had a lot of deer. Deer in the roads, deer in our backyard, deer everywhere.
So, all of a sudden a baby deer comes running at me and before I have time to react, Champ steps in front of me and protects me. Not caring if he hurts himself because I would be safe. The baby deer ran away for its mother in the woods. This marked the beginning of something in my life that at the time I couldn't even begin to comprehend. But now I know what it changed, it made Champ even more like an angel without a pair of wings than before. He was best friend who I would be lost without.
As time went by, I wanted my own dog. Not that I didn't love Champ, but he was my brother's dog. I wanted my own dog, to call my own. So, that's when I welcomed another best friend, Lucy. So, now it wasn't only Champ, it was Champ and Lucy. But Champ, he was different than Lucy. He looked at me different, looked at things different. And I always wondered what went through his head when we bought our first horse or finally bought another dog 6 years later for my sister who named her dog, Roxy.
And the day that haunts me most is November 22nd, 2007. I was in 6th grade and I was in the kitchen doing my homework. Champ went to the vets a week ago because he was havin trouble walking. He couldn't move his back legs and at night he would stay up and cry. My mom called and my sister in and told us. That Champ was gone. He finally was an angel with wings.
That's when I thought everything was going to shatter. That Champ really isn't here. That I would never get to feel his soft fur again. Or look into his deep brown eyes. That were once filled with life and youth now filled with nothing but complete darkness. I cried a little bit but stopped.
When it was time to go to sleep, I asked myself and God out loud why? Why did God have to take away something that we loved? Why couldn't anything ever good last? Why did we always have to let go, why couldn't we just hold on? Only God knows, only God knows. Why Champ isn't here watching me type this on my computer. Why he can't take walks with me and Lucy in the woods like we used to. Snuggle up to me in the garage when my friends ignored me yet another. 
But I know one thing for sure. That Champ was my best friend. A best friend that didn't care if I was rich or poor just cared if I came everyday to the back door to greet him after school. Sit and whisper stories into his ear as he drifted off to sleep. Took him for long walks, just me and him to catch up on things. To sit together and never be apart.
Champ wrote a story now it's your turn to read it. Champ left a trail, a story, a story of Champ. My one and only Champ, the angel without wings finally got them.

-JustAnotherGirl